“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say, just in what they are”
Hello my lovelies!
I hope you’ve all had an incredible New Year ring in. I can’t say there will be a new me this year, but I can say with certainty that I have a lot to look forward to in the coming months. I’ll be graduating from my esthetics program in March, celebrating my 21st birthday in April, and flying out to Ireland in May. If you ask me, it doesn’t get much better than that.
Today’s post is going to be a much more personal one. As you can see by the title, I’m going to talk weight loss. Weight loss, for the right reasons, is a great thing and should be celebrated. It’s hard work both mentally and physically, and all credit is due to those who are able to lead a healthier lifestyle, regardless of the number of pounds lost. What people don’t tell you though, is that there are some pesky inconveniences that can occur with the lost weight, and as always, I think it’s equally as important to talk about upsides and downsides of all things in life.
For those of you who don’t know or haven’t noticed, I’ve lost a lot of weight over the past year and a half. 60 pounds to be exact. While I don’t want this post to sound unappreciative or ungrateful in any way, I want everyone to understand that losing weight isn’t as cut and dry as people will make it out to be, and that it’s ok and valid to notice and feel these things that I will talk about. I also want everyone to remember that unless you’re under doctor’s orders, you don’t need to lose weight to exist in society. You have a right to exist in the body you are already in, and don’t EVER listen to people who try to tell you otherwise. There isn’t a single thing wrong with the way you look, because there is only one you on this planet and so long as you are living your best life, no one gets to tell you otherwise.
Please note that if you have ever struggled or are currently struggling with an eating disorder, this post may not be for you. I will not talk about eating or disordered eating throughout the post, but I will be talking about body image. If you know that this might be triggering for you, practice self care and click out of this post. Your well being is far more important than anything I have to say.
Losing Weight Won’t Cure Body Image Issues –
If your main motivator for losing weight is because you hate yourself, not only is that a terrible idea, but the lost weight won’t make you not hate yourself. Diet culture feeds off of telling people that the only way they can love themselves is by being small, and I’m here to tell you that as a now small person, that’s a bunch of crap. My self esteem has improved because I release endorphins during exercise, sure, but it improved most because I made the effort to love myself BEFORE I lost 60 pounds. Being skinny is not what makes me love myself more, it’s knowing that I’m practicing self care and living the way I want to that makes me love myself most.
People Are Significantly Nicer When You’re Skinny (But Not Too Skinny) –
Deny fatphobia all you want, but people are downright dreadful to those they consider “unhealthy”, as if weight is a tell all indicator of health. Of course my weight gain was due to unhealthy habits of mine, I was sick and sedentary for almost a year. However, that does not mean in any way that people who aren’t small deserve to be ridiculed or harassed for existing in their body. You don’t know their lives or the minute details as to why they look the way they do. Most importantly, unless you’re their doctor, your opinion on their body weight is a crock of shit and is best kept to yourself.
Weight Loss Can Become Obsessive –
I am 100 percent guilty as charged on this one. After losing 60 pounds, I won’t lie to all of you and say I wouldn’t mind if I gained it all back. I worked hard to get to this point and frankly, gaining it back is a looming fear of mine. While I’m trying to work against my minor obsession with weight gain/loss, I like to remind myself that I am a woman and therefore my weight will fluctuate all the time, my weight doesn’t define my worth , and as long as I still maintain a healthy lifestyle, the number on the scale is completely unimportant to my self image and assessment of how healthy I am. Losing a lot of weight creates a sort of “high”. It feels good knowing you’ve accomplished something so many people hope to do as well, and it can become addictive very fast. Working to replace that weight loss obsession with a healthy mindset has thus far been the largest hurdle for me personally, but I know that I am capable of perseverance.
It’s Expensive As Hell –
60 pounds ago, I was a size 29 in my Madewell jeans. I could write you a novel on why those $128 babies are the greatest clothing investment possible, but that’s not the point. 60 pounds later, I’m a size 25. See where I’m going with this? Weight loss means new clothes, new shoes, new bras, and a cut up credit card or two. Forget clothes, buying healthier food requires you to sell your firstborn for some spinach. That gym membership will cost you a pretty penny should you choose to join one as well. It shouldn’t be a surprise that populations with a lower income majority tend to be overweight; losing weight is expensive and requires an insane amount of financial privilege. Sure, you lose the fatphobic “tax” on plus size clothing (something about using more fabric, such bullshit), but that doesn’t make having to replace your entire wardrobe and kitchen some sort of easy feat. Weight loss truly is a sign of privilege, and while it’s totally ok to have that privilege, acknowledging the existence of that concept is essential.
Your Weight Loss Becomes Your Defining Feature –
At the end of the day, my weight loss was not that dramatic. I didn’t go from an obese, borderline lifestyle to shredded abs Nutrisystem lifestyle. I just lost 50 pounds and toned up. Despite the fact that my change was nowhere near as severe as it is for many people, others have noticed, and with that noticing, it has quickly become the only thing people want to talk about with me. Here I am running a fairly successful blog, on my way to earning my Esthetician’s license in March, participating in many events and hobbies, and the main topic that people choose to discuss with me is the way I look. I’m not talking about the people who mention it once or twice then move on, I’m talking about those who continue to bring it up during multiple occasions. I’m sure some of you are sitting there thinking “oh get over it Zoey, people are just saying you look great”, but that’s not really what they’re saying. What people are actually saying when they choose to continuously discuss your weight loss with you is “Nothing else about you is as important to me as the way you look”, and that fucking sucks. What they’re saying is sure, those other things you do are cool, but the way you look is a defining characteristic and a dealbreaker. However, and this might come as a shock, literally anything else you do is more important than your weight loss transformation, and all those people who constantly make you uncomfortable by bringing it up all the time can suck on an egg.
Whether you’re trying to lose weight, gain weight, maintain your weight, or just read body image rants, I truly do hope that at least one of you can find solace in this post. And please, please, PLEASE, remember that you are worthy of love, validation, and acceptance regardless of the number on the scale, your thigh gap or lack thereof, or the way your stomach looks.
That’s all I have for you guys today. Please remember to like, comment, and subscribe, it really helps me out. Also don’t forget to have a wonderful Wednesday!
Disclaimer: I will never edit my pictures in a way that misrepresents my natural weight and body type. Some Links may be affiliate links. All opinions are my own